TEXT
Snotty: Justin brought home all of his He-Man toys today. ALL of them!
Indy: Hehe I should dig out all my old toys and we can play like we are five!
Snotty: BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!
Indy: Yes!
Postmortem Texting
TEXT
Snotty: You can stop sending me job postings. I've decided to jump off a cliff instead, GOODBYE.
KJ: Take me with you.
Snotty: Too late I'm dead.
Snotty: You can stop sending me job postings. I've decided to jump off a cliff instead, GOODBYE.
KJ: Take me with you.
Snotty: Too late I'm dead.
Pining/Pwning
TEXT
Snotty: I'm having a good time!
Esq: Sweet! I am jealous but also relaxed and pleased and pining for you!
Snotty: I pwn for you also, except not *pwn* except yes pwn. Heh.
Esq: Woot!
Snotty: PWNED
Snotty: I'm having a good time!
Esq: Sweet! I am jealous but also relaxed and pleased and pining for you!
Snotty: I pwn for you also, except not *pwn* except yes pwn. Heh.
Esq: Woot!
Snotty: PWNED
Chuck Norris
Playing video games...
Josh: I look like Chuck Norris!
Esq: I know--roundhouse! roundhouse!
Josh: I look like Chuck Norris!
Esq: I know--roundhouse! roundhouse!
Kids & Politics
Tutoring at 826Seattle...
Eden: This pen is running out--it's bailing on me!
Snotty: Hahaha, "bailing".
Eden: I need a bailout!
Eden: This pen is running out--it's bailing on me!
Snotty: Hahaha, "bailing".
Eden: I need a bailout!
Life-Trapped
Tutoring at 826Seattle...
Ranae (trapped by desks and chairs): I can't get anywhere around here!
Snotty: That's how I feel about life.
Ranae (trapped by desks and chairs): I can't get anywhere around here!
Snotty: That's how I feel about life.
Sombrero Turd
Talking about this photo, Nunuvut's official Coat of Arms:
Esq: Why does this look like a third grader drew a pile of stones and stuck a sombrero on top of it?
Snotty: Because they're fucking Canadians!
Esq: It's like a bowl of salsa and a turd of a sombrero.
Esq: Why does this look like a third grader drew a pile of stones and stuck a sombrero on top of it?
Snotty: Because they're fucking Canadians!
Esq: It's like a bowl of salsa and a turd of a sombrero.
Three's Company
Three different things I heard on Saturday that made my life worth living:
That's like a Huey Lewis song, but different.
There's a hobo in Gig Harbor!
You kind of look like a deflated Christian Slater.
That's like a Huey Lewis song, but different.
There's a hobo in Gig Harbor!
You kind of look like a deflated Christian Slater.
Perfect Set-Up
Rick (Esq's dad): I won't be happy until everybody's fingers are in the right place.
Snotty: That's--what--SHE SAID! *punches the air* YEAH!
Rick: Convo blog!
Snotty: That's--what--SHE SAID! *punches the air* YEAH!
Rick: Convo blog!
V.1
Snotty: The hate mail is pouring in!
Esq: Good!
Snotty: I'm compiling the best ones for a post. Oh, and I still have to do your dad.
Esq: ...
Snotty: Not what I meant.
Esq: Good!
Snotty: I'm compiling the best ones for a post. Oh, and I still have to do your dad.
Esq: ...
Snotty: Not what I meant.
Sexy Party
Snotty: No bitches while I'm gone.
Esq: ...oookay.
Snotty: That didn't sound very sincere.
Esq: I was going to have a sexy party tomorrow--
Snotty: I'll kill you.
Esq: But now that you mention it--
Snotty: I'll kill you.
LOL
Esq: ...oookay.
Snotty: That didn't sound very sincere.
Esq: I was going to have a sexy party tomorrow--
Snotty: I'll kill you.
Esq: But now that you mention it--
Snotty: I'll kill you.
LOL
Breaking Up
Overheard on Capital Hill...
Dyke 1: BITCH, DON'T TELL ME YOU WANNA SEE OTHER PEOPLE.
Dyke 2: *shrug*
Dyke 1: ON A STREET CORNER!
Dyke 1: BITCH, DON'T TELL ME YOU WANNA SEE OTHER PEOPLE.
Dyke 2: *shrug*
Dyke 1: ON A STREET CORNER!
Favorite Religion
I saw an ad for a book by Michael Horton called 'Christless Christianity'...
Snotty: (points at it) Look! Christless Christianity?!
Monica: What is it?
Esq: Also known as "--ianity".
Snotty: (points at it) Look! Christless Christianity?!
Monica: What is it?
Esq: Also known as "--ianity".
Duck Brains
At 826Seattle...
Renae: Read this sentence I wrote.
Snotty: "A gooey ducks does not know if its humble because they lack a brains."
Renae: Good?
Snotty: Um....
Renae: Not good?
Snotty: More like "not English".
Renae: Read this sentence I wrote.
Snotty: "A gooey ducks does not know if its humble because they lack a brains."
Renae: Good?
Snotty: Um....
Renae: Not good?
Snotty: More like "not English".
Too Loud
At the Halloween party...
Snotty (to the DJ): It's not every day you get the honor of dancing with a deejay you don't know very well in someone else's garage!
DJ: I can't hear you!
Snotty: WHAT?
DJ: I can't hear you!
Snotty: I can't hear you!
DJ: WHAT?
Snotty: I LIKE YOUR 'DICK IN A BOX'.
Snotty (to the DJ): It's not every day you get the honor of dancing with a deejay you don't know very well in someone else's garage!
DJ: I can't hear you!
Snotty: WHAT?
DJ: I can't hear you!
Snotty: I can't hear you!
DJ: WHAT?
Snotty: I LIKE YOUR 'DICK IN A BOX'.
Hand Jobs
Passing a construction site sign-twirler...
Snotty: I wondered if I could be a sign-twirler.
Esq: And?
Snotty: NO. I'd rather be a prostitute.
Esq: Really?
Snotty: Really.
Esq: Why not do both at once, make double your money? Well, not double, but you know what I mean.
Snotty: Nice.
Esq: What if a cop shows up? You'll have a convenient excuse for walking the street. 'What, I'm just twirling this sign.'
Snotty: True!
Snotty: I wondered if I could be a sign-twirler.
Esq: And?
Snotty: NO. I'd rather be a prostitute.
Esq: Really?
Snotty: Really.
Esq: Why not do both at once, make double your money? Well, not double, but you know what I mean.
Snotty: Nice.
Esq: What if a cop shows up? You'll have a convenient excuse for walking the street. 'What, I'm just twirling this sign.'
Snotty: True!
A Theist
Snotty: So, can you tell me what an atheist is?
Oren: Someone who doesn't believe in God.
Snotty: Right! Then what DO they believe in?
Oren: ... Satan?
Snotty: Good try.
Oren: Someone who doesn't believe in God.
Snotty: Right! Then what DO they believe in?
Oren: ... Satan?
Snotty: Good try.
More Poop!
OVER TEXT
Topic: the 'Blog Reading Level' widget (where my blog rated 'Elementary School Level')...
Griz: I think it discriminates against breeders.
Snotty: It's best described as a measure of unreadability. If it's clearer to read, it ranks closer to elementary school. The more fragments, etc, the higher the rank because it's technically harder to read from a computer standpoint. Says Justin.
Snotty: But I always thought it was b/c my name is Snotty and I talk about little kids and say 'poop' a lot.
Topic: the 'Blog Reading Level' widget (where my blog rated 'Elementary School Level')...
Griz: I think it discriminates against breeders.
Snotty: It's best described as a measure of unreadability. If it's clearer to read, it ranks closer to elementary school. The more fragments, etc, the higher the rank because it's technically harder to read from a computer standpoint. Says Justin.
Snotty: But I always thought it was b/c my name is Snotty and I talk about little kids and say 'poop' a lot.
Alpha Lite
OVER TEXT
Snotty: -I'M NOT A COMPUTER GOD, YOU KNOW.
Bangs McGee: I have light God tendencies.
Snotty: -I'M NOT A COMPUTER GOD, YOU KNOW.
Bangs McGee: I have light God tendencies.
And I Nap
OVER TEXT:
Snotty: I'm so bored. What do normal people do on a Tuesday?
Matt: Normal people go thru pointless motions in inhumane cubicles.
Snotty: I'm so bored. What do normal people do on a Tuesday?
Matt: Normal people go thru pointless motions in inhumane cubicles.
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